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Hmph. Making a new LJ. One that I'll put a better use to than this incessant bitching and moaning. God, I annoy myself. How could I sit there and write all that?! And there I go again. I think it's 'cause I'm sick. Romeo. Kero. Keji. Idk. Rly. :] Maybe I'll write. in front of: Mother's office
mood: sick as a dig
calamity: "Always Move Fast" - Lydia
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All right. Well, now. Hmm...BMTH was yesterday...it was sick. I was nowhere near as excited to see them as I thought I'd be. But that's only cause I hadn't been to a show since FFTL, and FFTL really fucked with my nerves...I still have that narration on Notepad on this computer, but I'm not going to finish it or post it anywhere, or show it to anyone...it's far too embarrassing. Basically, Bring Me's Wall Of Death was all on me on my end, I stayed with Trenity a lot becuse she seemed to be the only one who wanted to be with me there except for Nik, but I lost her after the Bring Me set anyway, but that was okay, because I love/miss Trenity. :D And I was glad I was there for her that last part of the night before we left. And, also, any time I had the chance to stop one of Bring Me's members...I didn't. And I'll never forgive myself for it. I was so ashamed though, because I had no money (Spencer and Nik still owe me $15 and promised they'd buy me a shirt to pay me back, which they did not do!) and I didn't want to just go over there smelling like dying cats and dogs (sadly, I mostly likely did, it was the best way to describe that awful stench D:), snap a picture on my phone, and leave. I was far too intimidated for that. I won't say anythign else. I threw a lot of bitch fits, and yelled at Spencer for telling a really bad racist joke. I almost knocked Aly the fuck out for calling me a lesbian, and I still want to. Trenity gave me a massage to calm down..damn, I needed that. Candice, I think her name is...the drummer for Kittie...Nik and I were hogging the bathroom from her. I needed so many cigarettes to calm myself down that it wasn't even funny... I noticed a lot of things about Bring Me that night that makes me feel like I know a little about them...and yes, that does include Oliver. I respect them so much now, especially Oliver...cause before, I was like, "Pfft! Fuck Olleh! Arumph!" but not anymore, and I feel bad that I ever felt that way. But we did get to eat Whataburger with them after the show (total coincidence they were there when we were; Chris, Nik, Spencer and myself threw a large fit at Spencer's dad to stop when we noticed it was them in there), so that made me happeh. :] ...there were so many people I wanted to knock the fuck out. September 30th...goddamn, if my mom doesn't let me go...I'll never forgive her, or speak to her...I'm determined to make September 30th worth something, a lot more than this show...I'll never forgive myself for being so not carefree so I could enjoy it. Butbutbut Matt Kean in my favorite now, fuck yvessss!!! But damn, I would have really loved to punch those people... Tags: bmth javajazz
in front of: Neo Vomputer :D
calamity: "Interstate Love Song" - Stone Temple Pilots
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"The only thing that's never excluded me is a mosh pit."Do you know how much it sucks when you relize that that's a serously fucking true statement? When no one cares enough to include you, or make you feel loved at all? When you yourself have tried tome and time again, but your efforts render futile every single time? No. You prolly don't. Hello, America. Fuck you. I'll stick to my mosh pits. To my slam dancing. To my awkward-but-still-better-than-Spencer's-a nd-Trenity's two-stepping. To my loserish air guitarring and to daydreaming about cheerfully beating you to death when you smile at me. You all don't care either way I am, so I might as well be happier while I'm going ignored. in front of: Mom's laptop
calamity: Beach Boys
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Where did I go wrong with it all? I mean, I don't get it sometimes. I don't know what to do with myself, I don't know who I am (though I do know who I want to be... :| for the most part), I don't know what to believe in... Oh, yes, that subject! No, I don't know what to believe in from time to time. I know that I am not to question the faith I must place in my Lord and savior Jesus Christ, but, really, I can't helpt it sometimes. Like when I was in the car with Spee, her father, Neal and one of her brothers, Kirk. Neal kept telling me to put my seatbelt on but I didn't listen until finally he got on me about it and we were about 3 minutes away from the mall. He goes, "I don't want us getting into an accident then having your mother sue me for it or something," to which I replied, "God likes me," while buckling up. Well, Kirk... oh, boy, Kirkland, this kid... well, he's in the front seat and he says to me, "Joke's on you--God doesn't exist." Immediately, Spencer and I laughed, but Neal rebutted with, "Yes he or she does exist, we just don't understand he or she very much... [blah, blah, blah, stuff I don't remember or didn't particularly catch, hence its lack of significance]." At the time, I thought nothing of it, but, cleaning the pool yesterday after school, I realized, "Oh, my God, I'm not the only person who thinks like I do... but I'm also only one person who doesn't think like everyone else." Take, for instance, my father's viewpoint: "It's human nature, baby, someday, it'll happen" was his response to me saying that I'd never in my life ever have sex (which I am still sticking to because sex requires you taking your clothes off and I'd much rahter not, thank you!). But the Bible says thou shalt resist temptation. What do you make of that? And then my English I PreAP/GT teacher... "I believe every word of the Bible is true, and I am a Christian." It all just gets very hard to keep up with in the end, when you think about it. While one may believe something totally opposite you, another may be on the same track. You can't be too close-minded about anything and, when you realize you are (because we all are to some extent, and don't you dare fucking say you aren't!), try to broaden your viewpoints about it. It'll get you somewhere, I promise you. BTW, I broke up with Richard yesterday because he was annoying the fuck out of me and I no longer liked him, much less love. I had to get real with myself. And I'm glad I did. Although ROTC practice is odd now, because everyone knows and I was his first girlfriend and he bragged about me all the time, yadda, yadda, yadda... His fault. Seriously. He shouldn't have pestered the fuck out of me like that about my best friend. Whatever. She means more to me than he does. Another thing I've come to realize: I am the only person [that I know] that processes certain things the way that I do. Honestly. Like when it comes to interpretation, especially. I don't need to go into depth about that. I'm sure you'll get plenty of examples as I go on with these LJs... ANOTHER TOPIC: Derek Alexander Bloom is one of the more intellegent beings I've come to know in my entire life, and I have no clue why, but that makes me smile, you know... thinking about it. It makes me think that we could actually sit there and have an actual conversation. Not over the phone either, like on October 10th while I'm hyperventalating and shaking like some creepy waaaaay-too-into-it scenester teenie fangirl. No, not like that. Like on an intellectual level. I'd feel so intimidated, though. Same could be said with Travis. The boys have got smarts I don't! See, now that's [partially] why I love Maffew (Matthew Good). All he says is "Fuck ya" all the time because he's too drunk/high to register exactly what the fuck the conversation's about. Tags: release
in front of: Vomp (with a new mosue!)
calamity: "Rep Your Clique" - theAUDITION
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roarthemighty's journal
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